The ATTENTION seeker
198...
199... 199... Come on, come on just one more... I sat there transfixed to my
profile picture on the screen, but it had stopped at 199.
I am
called a wannabe.. pateli.. show off.. an attention seeker... I am all of
these, and at the same time I am none of these.
Popularity,
fame is something everyone has a craving for; being praised for something you possess, trying to be modest, you have to agree that you have been wanting
someone to compliment you.
Few get their popularity by default, others really have to work really hard to get it.. I was in the latter group.
A bimbo, a numbnut, and that time actually called as Appy (means अपंग which in english means handicapped) that was my impression through out the school life. A jackass of all trades and master of none. The nickname was disturbing, but could not really do anything about it.. I had no choice but to deal with it, first felt humiliated, but as time passed, the humiliation transformed into some weird coolness which I got accustomed to.
I was famous for my unfortunate weaknesses; those held me back from trying to overcome them. The name Appy and my jittery confidence had a symbiotic relationship... No matter how much I tried, I just could not get rid of that sick, sorry nickname.
Then one fine day, school and the reign of Appy finally ended.
After 10th Std. Board exams I had a period of 4-5 months of vacation.. that is when I went under total internal reconstruction. I made conscious efforts to change my approach and outlook in everything.
Started watching meaningful entertainment, not just for the fun but also to study character traits.
Few get their popularity by default, others really have to work really hard to get it.. I was in the latter group.
A bimbo, a numbnut, and that time actually called as Appy (means अपंग which in english means handicapped) that was my impression through out the school life. A jackass of all trades and master of none. The nickname was disturbing, but could not really do anything about it.. I had no choice but to deal with it, first felt humiliated, but as time passed, the humiliation transformed into some weird coolness which I got accustomed to.
I was famous for my unfortunate weaknesses; those held me back from trying to overcome them. The name Appy and my jittery confidence had a symbiotic relationship... No matter how much I tried, I just could not get rid of that sick, sorry nickname.
Then one fine day, school and the reign of Appy finally ended.
After 10th Std. Board exams I had a period of 4-5 months of vacation.. that is when I went under total internal reconstruction. I made conscious efforts to change my approach and outlook in everything.
Started watching meaningful entertainment, not just for the fun but also to study character traits.
Developed
a reading habit that I never considered.
Studied Chandler and Sheldon for the sarcasm and humor department.
Finally college commenced, this was a completely new world, a new stage, a new play and slate was neat and black. Now the first chalk strokes on that slate were going to decide whether it would be the introduction of the new Me or would the reign of Appy return.
And I surely did not want the latter part. This time luck favored my side.. So as I started out, my first challenge was to have a smooth normal friendly conversation with a girl, but as we all know.. unless you stumble on the path you would never learn to get up and move on.
It was painfully funny to be turned down by a totally out of my league girl. But it was fun.
Then my life introduced me to the Mithibai Drama Team. This league was altogether a whole new level.
Here, no one judged anyone on how they looked, how you talk, how you present yourself, you are nurtured here, the ones who joined this team instantly become a part if the family.
They molded this deformed clay into an impressive vessel. Five years now, I have still been a part of the family.
The popularity and fame that I had wished for so long, was finally coming to me, and this time the reasons were me overcoming those unfortunate weaknesses.
The attention I seek is not to show off, but it is the justice that I try to give to that Appy who deserved a lot better than what he got during school.
If I demand for fame I do it because I know I earned it.
Studied Chandler and Sheldon for the sarcasm and humor department.
Finally college commenced, this was a completely new world, a new stage, a new play and slate was neat and black. Now the first chalk strokes on that slate were going to decide whether it would be the introduction of the new Me or would the reign of Appy return.
And I surely did not want the latter part. This time luck favored my side.. So as I started out, my first challenge was to have a smooth normal friendly conversation with a girl, but as we all know.. unless you stumble on the path you would never learn to get up and move on.
It was painfully funny to be turned down by a totally out of my league girl. But it was fun.
Then my life introduced me to the Mithibai Drama Team. This league was altogether a whole new level.
Here, no one judged anyone on how they looked, how you talk, how you present yourself, you are nurtured here, the ones who joined this team instantly become a part if the family.
They molded this deformed clay into an impressive vessel. Five years now, I have still been a part of the family.
The popularity and fame that I had wished for so long, was finally coming to me, and this time the reasons were me overcoming those unfortunate weaknesses.
The attention I seek is not to show off, but it is the justice that I try to give to that Appy who deserved a lot better than what he got during school.
If I demand for fame I do it because I know I earned it.
Apparently,
Appy is happily staring at the screen that displays 199 likes, whereas Shaunak
is eagerly waiting for the 200th like
